Not Sure What You Want In A Relationship? 3 Tips For Deciding

You've been single and you've been in relationships before.

When previous relationships ended, you were sad, but overall, you walked away with a lot of memories and life lessons.

With each relationship, you've found what you were looking for and what you weren't looking for. Each person walks in and out of your life for various reasons. You don't have any regrets, but after several failed relationship attempts, you're not really sure what to do next.

Not quite sure what you want in a relationship? Here are three tips that can help you decide what you want.

1. Make a List

When you have a bunch of items to do during your day, you make a to-do list. When you need items from the store, you make a list. Shopping for groceries even requires a grocery list. If you're already used to making lists of things you want or things you have to get done, why not make it easier on yourself and make another one? One of the best ways to determine what you're looking for in your next relationship is to write it down.

Lists are a great way to put all of those thoughts down on paper. Instead of holding everything inside of yourself, give those thoughts a place to live. It will help you sort out what you're looking for and what you're not looking for. Plus, a list is a great tool to look back on later to make sure that you're going after what you really want and need.

2. Use Your Past as a Learning Lesson

You should never regret things from your past. Your past actions and behaviors are what have shaped and molded you into the person you are today. You may have dated people that were both good for you and bad for it. And you know what? That's perfectly fine. Your past has helped you grow into who you are today.

Plus, anyone in your past life can give you a better idea of what you would like to have in your next relationship as well as what you're not looking for in your next relationship. Think about the positive memories that you have. What do you miss from a previous relationship or partner? Now, think about the things that you didn't like. Make another list of the items you'd like to avoid or any boundaries that you may need to set in the future.

3. Turn to Relationships You Admire

There's a good chance that you have friends and family members who are in long-term and committed relationships. You may have even had the luxury of watching these relationships grow and blossom right before your own eyes. Use these relationships and couples for reference. Think about the things you like that you see in these relationships. Do they communicate in a certain way? Do they plan date nights or special events with one another? How is support shown during positive and negative times? Using another relationship for reference can be a great starting point to help you visualize your next relationship.

Next Steps

It's perfectly fine if you're not really sure what you're looking for in your next relationship. Take some time for yourself and try to figure it out. You don't have to keep jumping in and out of relationships, especially before knowing what you want. If you're having a difficult time determining what exactly you're looking for, you're not alone.

Working with a therapist can help you work through your past. It will also help you figure out your wants, needs, values, and goals to help you determine what you want out of your next relationship.

Reach out to soon to learn more about relationship counseling.