What I Learned About Anxiety from a Trauma Therapist (And It’s Probably Not What You Think)
READ TIME : 3 min
One of the most profound things I've learned about treating anxiety didn't come from an anxiety specialist, ERP manual, or CBT workshop.
It came from my colleague who specializes in trauma therapy.
We have different specialties, so we tend to approach therapy often very differently too.
But this one thing she said really stuck with me and has helped my clients.
Her insight?
The power of CHOICE.
Because when you feel like you don’t have any choices, then of course you feel trapped or stuck. And then it makes complete sense that anxiety takes over.
Stay with me here..
We actually talk about it all the time in anxiety treatment.
Anxiety itself isn’t a choice.
But how you respond to it is.
And that response can make or break your recovery.
Anxiety convinces you that you’re stuck, helpless, or unsafe. But, recognizing even in those moments that you STILL have choices?
That’s a gamechanger.
Here’s what made her insight so impactful: she led with language that decreased shame.
Shame is one of the biggest barriers in anxiety treatment. It drowns out logic. It makes clients feel broken. It stalls progress.
She cleared the shame first, then reframed choice in a way that helped people trust themselves again.
Even though her interventions and mine can look really different, I’ve learned so much from how she works.
And in a world that’s gotten pretty bad at listening to each other, that feels important to say: We don’t grow when we only learn from people who think exactly like us.
Because here’s the thing:
Anxiety disorders & OCD carry a lot of shame.
And trauma therapists are EXPERTS at working through shame. Which makes this a great colleague to learn from for me.
So far I’ve learned that how something is said matters just as much as what’s being said.
Her explanation didn’t just help decrease shame... it opened the door for people to step into their own power.
You’re probably wondering what exactly she said...
She explained that the truth is:
We always have choices.
Even when none of them are ideal.
Even when every option feels uncomfortable.
Even when anxiety is screaming otherwise.
Why is this so powerful for anxiety treatment?
Because in anxiety treatment, your choice about how you respond to the anxiety, will make or break your recovery.
Anxiety can make you feel like you have to control everything, leading to tons of safety behaviors that only make it worse.
Or it leaves you feeling completely trapped and helpless, stuck just living in fear.
For example:
“I could stay home all day to avoid car accidents, OR
I could drive and see people I love, stay independent, and get to the gym.”
When you choose based on your values, the risks feel worth it. Like you’re able to accept the uncertainty because you have chosen to based on something important to you (your values).
The magic happens when you realize:
You have more control than you think... just not over the anxiety itself.
You have control over how you respond to it.
You’re no longer held hostage by circumstances or anxiety.
You’re an active participant in your own life again and building real trust in yourself.
I hope this is what you’ll remember...
This is why it’s so important to stay open to wisdom outside your exact specialty.
Different lenses bring fresh language, new tools... and sometimes the thing that finally clicks.
Hi, I’m Michelle
I’ve been working in mental health since 2010 and struggling with anxiety for oh, idk, maybe my entire life.
And with my lived experience having anxiety, I know what works, what doesn’t, and what makes things feel worse. In here, you’re not alone, and I’ll work with you to shed the shame along with the anxiety. And by using evidence-based practices, I’ll help you recover, not just feel better.